Not a choice

The validity of same sex marriage is an issue which is still controversial and still not solved in the  

United States. The issue has similarities to the issue of interracial marriages in the 1960s. Both interracial marriages and same-sex marriages are based on individual's feelings. Gay people do not choose who they fall in love with, in the same way as people falling in love with someone from another ethnicity, or anybody who falls in love with anyone.  It is a private matter and I believe that it is obvious that everybody should have the same rights and denying some people the right to get married goes against the constitution which says that we are all equal. You do not choose who you fall in love with and you should not encounter limitations just because the person you fall in love with is of the same sex, or of a different ethnicity. I do not believe that you should be treated differently because of your sexual preferences.

In 1996, after some states had permitted same-sex marriages, congress tried to prevent same-sex marriages from becoming legal all over the United States through the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which would have meant that same-sex marriages performed in other states would not be legal in states where same state marriages were not allowed. However, in June 2013, the Supreme Court dismissed DOMA and declared it unconstitutional. Thanks to the fact that the constitution states that if a state or local law conflicts with a national law, the national law will prevail, same-sex marriages all over the United States now have the right to federal benefits. 

Opponents of same-sex marriage use the argument that marriage between a man and a woman is the basis for creating and defining a family and that same sex couples can not have biological children together. To the people that try to hide behind this argument I'd like to first of all say: This may have been the norm before but things change, get over it. I'm also wondering how these people relate to people who cannot or doesn't want to have children. Do they have the right to get married and have the same benefits even though they are not creating the “nuclear family”? To people who do not believe that this is fair to the children because these children will get bullied etc., I'd like to, again, state that no child is born a homophobiac. If people would just stop judging others and teach their children true values such as respect and the fact that all people are equal, then this shouldn't be a problem. The problem lies with the bully and not the bullied.

Considering the fact that state and church are – and should be – separated, I do not believe that the fact that homosexuality supposedly goes against some people's faith should have anything to do with whether or not same-sex marriage should be allowed in the United States. I fully support the fact that banning same-sex marriage is unfair discrimination against a minority group and the fact that it is still allowed to go on is helped by the fact that there is no federal law allowing same-sex marriages. If same-sex marriage was allowed all over the United States, then I believe that the discrimination would subside and that homosexuality would be more and more accepted. Some people would of course still oppose it, but if the country as a whole implemented a law allowing same-sex marriages then I believe that more people would eventually become more positive towards it because then that view would be more accepted. Some people believe that forcing states which have an overwhelming majority against same-sex marriage will have unfortunate results but I do not agree with this. If you look back in time to the 1960:s, the case Loving v. Virginia was taken to the Supreme Court. This case has similar attributes to today's discussion about same-sex marriages. An interracial couple was contesting the Virgina law which prohibited interracial marriages. The Supreme Court eventually came to the conclusion that laws against interracial marriage were unconstitutional. I believe that the fact that this was made into law – despite a strong opposition – helped make interracial marriages more accepted and that the same thing will be the case with same-sex marriages. 

Same-sex marriage/adoption

I absolutely agree with Julie's editorial in the sense that everyone should be able to get married. It is a right that everyone should have. However, what I do not agree with is the editorial's view on same-sex adoption. 

The argument why same-sex couples should not be allowed to adopt children is tired and it is a form of victim blaming which I really do not approve of. What you are saying is that because other people are narrow-minded and bigoted, loving people should not be allowed to have children -- children who are in desperate need of a loving home. These children often live in horrible conditions. For example, watch the documentary Stuck for some information about the conditions of children in orphanages and tell me that loving, same-sex parents would give them a worse to be. It is true that there is a risk that some people will treat these children differently because of their parents sexual orientation. However, there is a risk that someone will treat you poorly for a number of reasons, but we can't let bullies win. Secondly, people who treat people differently because of this - or for any reasons - are the ones who are in the wrong, other people should not have to be punished because these people are judgmental and simpleminded. 

Just a few decades ago -- and stilll today in some areas -- interracial marriage was frowned upon and interracial children were looked down upon because they were of mixed race but this has - mostly - gone away today. Today, it is more accepted because people were forced to change their views. The public opinion changed and it will change in this area too. I understand that it is not exactly the same because this is about biological children, but I still believe that there are striking similarities which counter your argument. 

I know several same sex couples who have had biological children -- having children with friends or using sperm banks and/or surrogates -- and this practice is becoming more common each day. These children are loved and in some cases they have four parents who love them dearly, in some cases fewer just like in any other family where parents break up and find new partners. I believe that adoption should be an option for same-sex couples who can provide good homes.